I'm sure we are all quite familiar with the maxim "Comparison is the thief of joy." Whether it is properly attributed to Dwight Edwards or President Theodore Roosevelt, I do not know. I do, however, wish to call not its authorship, but rather its authenticity into question. Allow me to put forth this statement:
It is envy, not comparison that purloins one's joy
Allow me to explain. Every action and every inclination has a motive or reason driving it. We do not like or dislike things for no reason. There is no room for illusions of postmodern subjectivism here. Though there may be much seeking and effort required to ascertain it, our actions and inclinations can always be traced to a reason, a meaning, or a root of sorts. I see no need to give examples of such because I’m quite sure that you know this to be true, even if you don't realize that you understand that fact. Meaning is essential to reason. C. S. Lewis aptly observed that meaning is: “the antecedent condition both of truth and falsehood” and that meaning’s antithesis “is not error but nonsense.”*
Let's examine the denotations and connotations of envy and comparison.
Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines “envy” thus:
- To feel uneasiness, mortification, or discontent at the sight of superior excellence, reputation, or happiness enjoyed by another.
- To fret or grieve oneself at the real or supposed superiority of another and to hate him on that account. (Emphasis added).
I doubt I need to define comparison, or at least in the sense in which it is used in the aforementioned quote. It is such a natural occurrence in our nature, to measure oneself to a neighbor and find the measurer or the measured lacking. I'm a ballet dancer, comparison is as effortless as breathing for me. It is important to note that comparison is not joy-sucking in and of itself. At times, it is a helpful and essential tool. We would be utterly lost and unable to distinguish between that which is excellent and that which is poor without a standard by which we can measure excellence. Without the moral clarity in the character and hence law of God, we would be left with nothing but moral relativism and chaos. In a world without Rembrandt, one wonders if we would have a good many more Pollocks or Picassos *shutters*. Personal art prejudices aside, it is our distortion of comparison that is inexcusable, not comparison in and of itself. When we use comparison as a method of determining our worth or when it is a source of selfish discontentment, then it is absolutely deadly to our joy. James 3:16 soberly warns: “For where bitter envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil.” I think that we have an understanding of just how destructive and sinful envy can be, but when it comes in the seemingly harmless package of comparison, we oft pass it off as a socially acceptable sin (which by the way, still happens to be a sin). The media uses comparison as a highly effective marketing strategy and we oft passively accept that twist of bitterness in the pit of our stomach when we see a “perfect” life belonging to a supposedly “perfect” person. We forget the nature of true perfection and belittle it to things such as a body shape that happens to be the current social fad, the monetary means that enable an exceedingly comfortable lifestyle, the success of an individual, or even the spiritual estate of a fellow believer. Envy is a back door through which disorder and all kinds of evil slink in and settle in the unsuspecting heart. Let’s resolve to call our sinful comparisons what they are in nature: envying. Ladies, you know that knot in your stomach you try to ignore when you see a gorgeous women who is exceedingly skilled in pretending that she has her life together? Yeah, it’s not so innocent now, is it? According to our working definition, to “feel uneasiness” at excellence, reputation, or happiness enjoyed by another is still classified as envy.
Alexander Pope noted that “all human virtue, to its last breath, finds envy never conquered but by death." Now, I must admit that I have not been entirely forthright about the nature of envy. It may be the root of comparison, but is a mere fruit of something deeper. Comparison is to envy what envy is to selfishness; fearfully and wonderfully made creatures harboring bitterness in their hearts toward their Creator because He did not make or give them that which they believe they are entitled to own or possess. Thankfully, selfishness is not without remedy. “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.”**
Such is not an easy remedy but it is the only true one. We must humbly lay aside our selfish ambitions and delusions of entitlement to surrender all to Christ. We have to die to ourselves. Pope claimed that death was the only way to defeat envy, and he was correct. Note that it is a daily occurrence in the believer’s life. I know that every single time I step into a room laden with a long barre and walls covered in mirrors, I have to die to myself and live in the gratitude in which the Holy Spirit so graciously enables me to live…sometimes that means picking up my fallen cross numerous times in the day. It is impossible to dwell in enduring joy without doing so. Think on how much anxiety, stress, self hatred, and bitterness we could be free of with only a little gratitude and a whole lot of humility. Marvel at every breath you have been given and you will find that envy is unable to abscond with your joy.
*From “Bluspels and Flalansferes: A Semantic Nightmare”
**Luke 9:23 HCSB
